But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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