omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize