I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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