Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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