He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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