what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
