Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
