i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
