you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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