btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize