like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
