I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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