Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
