i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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