Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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