omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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