If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
MIDGETS
????
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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