butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
