so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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