Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
