discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
