Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
