Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
