Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
