she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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