Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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