going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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