Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize