I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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