A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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