I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
