all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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