I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
