i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
