is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
