google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
