I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
