I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
