I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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