that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
