The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dating After Heartbreak
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased