your room smells of hookers.
And success
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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