youre lurking in front of me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
