He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
