Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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