Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
