Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
