Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no, he came in my armpit
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
