I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
