Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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