If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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