I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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