Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Acid is not a monday night drug
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
