I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
