drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize