need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize