So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize