Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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