I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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